Having It All

Why is getting rid of fear and anxiety scary? Seriously?

When I was young I thought I was one tough chick, I could do anything.  Fast forward to 2009, I have my second son, he is very sick and it is my job to keep him alive (no problem, I got this).  After a while of relying on myself, myself ran out... there was nothing left.  I was as low as possible, lost, weak, powerless, insecure, doubtful, and scared.  This is the part where God showed up!

God for me had always been a belief system, religion, Sunday service, Christmas and Easter.  But a few years ago, on a hot summer day, He was my cool breeze.  He restored my strength, power, security, and faith.... and it was as simple as me asking and trusting that it would be done.  I say simple, but this did not happen over night, it has been a process.  I have learned that all I have has been given to me by God, and when I have none left all I have to do is ask for more.


"Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." 1 John 4:4


Now I find myself on the tail end of all of this.  My relationship with God is unshakable, intimate, challenging and so rich.  So why am I scared to let the last bit of me go?  Why am I holding on to fear like it's a good thing?  I don't even know what I am holding on to, I just know I am.  I think I am ready to let it go but there is a part of me that feels like if I do, I will have it all (this is a good thing right?).  Why should't I feel like I have it all?  Is it even possible to feel that way?  I think God would want me to feel that way, it was He who gave it to me, He is my father, I know His love is unconditional and complete.  I want my own kids to have it all, I can only imagine how much greater His love is.  Why is being whole and free, completely scary?

I don't have this answer yet, but I move closer everyday.  There will be times in all of our lives when we have nothing more to give and we have to ask for God's help... and I promise you, He will show up in your story too!

Fasting for Slavery

When Christine Caine visited our church she asked us to fast something on the 21st, something that a victim of sex slavery wouldn't have.

It's Saturday the 21st at 6am.... I am lying awake, waiting for the kids to wake up, thinking about what I am going to fast today?  A shower (gross), toothbrush (super gross), make-up (scary), coffee (i don't drink coffee), TV (don't watch much anyways), my phone (heaven forbid), internet (no way), Facebook (to easy)... on and on.  The boys finally woke up and I had decided on perfume and a shower.

After breakfast I began my morning prep, splashed water on my face and immediately started thinking about how someone who is held captive probably doesn't get to wash their face... OR put on tinted moisturizer OR lip gloss.  So now I am dirty, stinky, dry and blotchy.... off we go to Home Depot :)

For the rest of the day everything I did made me think about someone who doesn't have what I have, especially victims of slavery.  Not to be insensitive, but when the idea was first presented I thought, "What good is that gonna do for them?"  You see, I am a do-er, I like results, attack first and think later (gets me in trouble sometimes - I am getting better). And don't get me wrong here, I wholeheartedly believe in fasting, submitting to God and denying your flesh is one of the best ways to listen to what God has to say.  But I was so angry, I felt blind and useless against this very HUGE problem.... and you want me to fast my morning tea?

What I learned is that fasting my shower, lead to fasting my perfume, which led to fasting my moisturizer, then my make-up and lipstick.  And that carried into the rest of my day, stopping and thinking about these victims, praying for them each time I thought about another thing they don't have.  It all started to make sense... awareness, I AM AWARE .... prayer, I AM PRAYING .... compassion, I HAVE COMPASSION!!

What now?  What are you fighting for?  What moves you?  Where do you show compassion?  Love?  Kindness?  We are not all programmed to fight the same fight... but we ARE programmed to fight.... like a LION!!!

A21 Campaign

Knowing vs. Feeling

Do you FEEL like a Christian or do you KNOW that you are? Feelings are fleeting, temporary and can be pushed aside if necessary. We need to be ruled by truth not feelings. To know you are sick is very different than feeling sick, knowing is truth. I used to struggle with knowing what God is asking of me, or calling me to do. But It has always just been a feeling that I could do this or that, or i felt like maybe I was being called here or there. Now for the first time in my life... I KNOW what I am called to do, I KNOW who I am, and I KNOW the truth. Never settle for feelings, settle into the truth... the truth is in your relationship with God, in the Bible and in the freedom of Christ. Push feelings aside if you need to, feelings are earthly, they are not gonna get you anywhere that matters.

Caine

I had the absolute pleasure of listening to Christine Caine speak last night, she spoke from her heart to a packed church.

So many things she said were amazing, some of them new to me, and some seemed like they came directly from my own heart.  I guess my favorite was this idea that as Christians we are supposed to be boring and have this long list of things we are not allowed to do.  This is obviously SO NOT TRUE, I have blogged about this before, we are called to go into ALL the world and share the love of Christ (that is not boring).  Christians should be the most exciting people you know, the most fearless, the most courageous and the most compassionate.  And when she spoke of compassion it was an action, we mostly use compassion as an emotion.  Sympathy and sadness are emotions, compassion needs to be an action, and action we are called to as Christians.  She went on to say that with the action of compassion comes inconvenience and discomfort.  And so many of us are not willing to be inconvenienced or uncomfortable, we want to stay in our safe Christian environment.

As for me, I am ready to be uncomfortable and inconvenienced... I know in my heart that it is my destiny to put feet to my compassion, and I can feel it getting closer.  I went to bed thinking about all the women in bondage and slavery around the world, and how I want to be a fearless, courageous, compassionate, wild, and dangerous Christian woman. What about you?


Today:          I love being awakened by a powerful, courageous woman of God.
Thankful:      For my church (for bringing amazing speakers and events), you have changed my life.

Intentionality

Intentionality... this is the word I keep getting from God.  I got this word for someone else, I thought, but He keeps whispering it into my heart.  So I am trying to be more intentional, but we all have questions...

Why should I be intentional?  I think God calls us to follow (thats intentional), I think we are tested and tried, as He was, and I think we need to do our part (intentional) to make our own dreams and His plans for our life to come true.

What does intentionality look like?  Not me, ha, I have never really been intentional, but my husband has, so lets look at him.  He is a driven and motivated planner... I think this is pleasing to God.  If God knows my husband's plans, then He can invade them and help him build what he set out to build.  I, on the other hand, am a spontaneous spender (I am just being honest here)... I'm not so sure this is always pleasing to God.  I think God wants to invade my plans just as much as my husbands, but it is obviously much harder for Him to invade my plans if I don't know what they are yet.

But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands. Isaiah 32:8

Today I am excited to begin to study with my small group again,

feeling like a WARRIOR today.

Thankful November

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Philippians 4:6



Using November as a kick off to be thankful everyday is such a wonderful way to honor God.  When you present a prayer request, thank God in advance for helping you and thank Him for knowing what you need and when you need it.


Praying for people who have to fight eveyday to survive.

Warrior Women

Strap your sword to your side, warrior!
Accept praise! Accept due honor!
Ride majestically! Ride triumphantly!
Ride on the side of truth!
Ride for the righteous meek!

Psalm 45

For my warrior women.